Quitting is a habit and justifying quitting is a skill.
What we practice is what we get better at, we become skillful at what we practice.
So if you’re practicing overeating, you’re getting better at overeating.
If you’re practicing smoking, you’re getting better at smoking.
If you’re practicing gossiping, you’re getting better at gossiping.
If you are practicing quitting, you are getting better at quitting.
If you’re practicing justifying why you’re quitting, you’re getting better at that too.
You’re developing skills that will help you quit in the future. Isn’t that crazy?
Too many of us have too much practice at quitting!
If that’s you, I have some good news…
If you are quitting at something, that means you committed to it in the first place, which means there is something deep inside you that wants more. Inside, you believe you can have more.
So at some point prior to your quitting you did make a commitment to yourself to achieve your goal.
What I see happen a lot of times is people want something they believe the can have, but they won’t commit. Or they commit, they write down their goals and then they quit, they have no follow through, they don’t take action. They quit at the 1st sign of failure and some quit even before they start.
This is the skill of quitting. We get good at justifying. We get good at making excuses. We get good at not believing that it’s possible. We get good at giving into false pleasure.
1. The first issue is a lack of conscious planning. There is no future thinking and no commitment – just a complete apathy – “let’s see what happens.”
2. The second issue I see is lots of commitment with no follow through and lots of quitting.
* Lack of Belief
* Giving in to False Pleasure
You need to understand what your own quitting looks like.
What excuses and justifications do you buy from yourself?
1. Blaming the program or process.
2. Slipping into unconsciousness.
3. Too busy.
4. Too tired.
5. Too complicated or confused.
The pattern may look like: Committing – Quitting – Despairing – Committing Again
This cycle undermines your capability and confidence.
Quitting feels like relief right when you do it. It disguises itself as self-care.
Quitting can feel like rest or peace.
Quitting is always driven by a thought and emotion. (Quitting is an action.)
Often it seems like a situation is causing us to quit – but that’s never the case.
What happens is you have a negative thought about your goal, that thought makes you feel a negative emotion and your action on that emotion is to quit.
Your thought may be… then you may feel something like…
* I can’t do this. * despair
* This is too hard. * frustration
* This isn’t working. * apathy
* This is a mistake. * anxiety
* I’m not good at this. * worry
* I don’t know how. * doubt
* I’m confused. * confusion
And when you let these thoughts create these feelings your action is to quit!
These are the things my coach* shared with me to help me from quitting on my goals & on myself:
1. Manage your mind. (Notice your thoughts and choose them.)
2. Anticipate the desire to quit.
3. Understand the motivational triad. (Our brain is wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and reduce energy expenditure)
4. Manage discomfort.
5. Refuse confusion.
6. Keep taking action and take different action as needed.
7. Don’t accept excuses/justification.
8. Know the difference between failing and learning. Define the difference before you start a new project.
Here’s the thing…
even when you don’t make commitments, you are making a commitment to staying the same. You are making a commitment to just letting life happen to you. You are making a commitment to living your life by default instead of deliberately.
You are ALWAYS creating your life, either by default or consciously. Creating compelling reasons and commitments – a life on purpose – is extraordinarily rare.
When you truly commit to something, quitting is not an option.
Don’t let quitting slow you down.
If any of this resonates with you and you think you may want to learn more about how to stop quitting, click this link to schedule a No-charge No-obligation Consultation LifeCoachingWithHeidi.com
*as learned from my Life Coach, Brooke Castillo